Sunday, 22 September 2013

White Women Black Men Dating: Going Out With A Parent

With divorce rates being so high, it is very likely that at some point you will find yourself being attracted to a guy or gal that already has children from a previous marriage or relationship. This scares many people off, but don't be one of them! People who have kids already are often more fulfilled and know what they want from life. Additionally, a woman who has already children won't be bugging you all the time if her biological clock starts ticking!

white women black men dating
white women black men dating
Therefore, if you want to date white women and you find online the girl of your dreams but then she reveals she has a child, don't freak out. Give it a chance and if you ask the right questions then you will be able to determine if you are ready for such a relationship or not. Following is a list of things to consider when you start going out with a man or woman who already has kids. Go through the list and think carefully about it before you jump into commitments.

The age of the kids
The younger the children, the more time they need to spend with their mother and you might also need to take them along in some of your dates. There is nothing wrong with that of course, if you know how to behave around kids. Swearing, smoking, drinking alcohol are adult bad habits that you should avoid at all costs in front of children. If you want to date white women, you might be looking for adventure and women with very young kids might not be able to follow a party lifestyle. Keep that in mind. On the other hand, parents with teenage kids might have a harder time getting the kids to accept their new partners.

The number of kids
The more kids, the less time usually a woman has to date and spend with her new partner, especially if the kids are young. Of course the father or the grandparents can babysit every now and then, but when dating a woman with two or more children, you need to be prepared to help her out as well, if you want to spend more time with her.

The relationship with the other parent
If your date has a good relationship with her ex husband/his ex wife, things shouldn't be too complicated. Just keep in mind that they will always be the parents of your date's kids and therefore they have the right to call your date or visit their house. If you are the jealous type, this might be a problem for you. Try to talk things through with your date and be understanding when it comes to their communication with their ex. If their relationship with them is bad, things can get more complicated. Reassuring the ex partner that you are not trying to substitute them in their kids' life will help a great deal.

The relationship with the kids
You can date a parent and never meet their kids. This is the best you can do, if you are dating just for fun and have no long term plans. This way the kids won't get hurt once you are out of their mom's life. If, however, you really like your date and you want to commit, then you need to start establishing a relationship with their children as well. Start slowly and give them time to get used to you.

Always ask your partner how they want you to approach their kids and how their kids like to be treated. Do not bribe them with gifts but try to build a substantial relationship by dedicating quality time to them.

Sunday, 25 August 2013

First date ideas for interracial couples

After hours of online searching, mails coming and going, a few shy phone calls and the like, the date is set! You are going on your first date with someone from another race! Excited much?

If you are a black man that is going to date white women, or the other way around, the first thing that you need to keep in mind is that this date should be pretty much like any other date. What we mean by that is that you should be careful not to emphasize your cultural difference. You should prepare for your interracial date the same way that you would for any other date. Your goal should be to find activities that will give you the chance to get to know the other person and come closer. Skin color has nothing to do with it and both black men and white women should know that.

The festival

Be it a music festival, a food festival, an outdoor music festival, it doesn't matter! Festivals are great for a first date as there are enough things to keep you busy and talk about, in case there are awkward moments. At the same time, being together at a festival is a nice experience to share and you will have things to talk about at your second date as well! Make sure it is not a cultural festival about your own heritage though. This is a good date idea for later dates, but on a first date it will look like you are trying to show off your culture or convert your date into your own values/ religion etc. And do not pick a festival about their culture either, because then they will feel at ease while you will feel like a foreigner and then your differences will seem magnified.

The brunch
Go to a nice hotel and have brunch. This way you will get to know each other while enjoying great coffee and food at the same time. Having a first date in the morning makes it more casual and puts less stress on you than a formal “I will pick you up at 21:00 and go to the best club ever” kind of date. Having brunch in a boutique hotel is also a nice way to enjoy luxury for a few hours without having to pay way too much for it.

The mix-and-match
One of you can pick were you will eat and the other can choose a movie that you are going to watch. Or one of you can suggest a nice place to go for a walk and the other person can choose an art exhibition to visit together. This way the pressure of making a good impression with your choices is split in half! If you feel that the lady prefers super dynamic men and she likes to follow though, skip this one.

The photo booth
Ask your date to go on an adventure with you and discover as many photo booths as you can, while walking. Take pictures in each one of them, noting at the back the date, time and place. You can even bring photo props with you and make it even more fun. This first date idea is fun and exciting but there are two ways in which it can go wrong: one, your date's self esteem is really bad and they hate taking pictures and two, there is no second date and you end up with a bunch of reminders of this failed one. But we don't see why anyone wouldn't want to see again a person with such original ideas. So, go for it!

The aquarium
Aquariums are amazing places for dates. First of all, they usually have these huge tanks where you can see whales and jellyfish swimming peacefully, taking all the stress away. Then, they have those rooms where you are actually surrounded by water on three sides, ceiling included, and sharks are swimming on top of you. This gives you something to talk about. Plus, it is a silent environment, where you can choose to either to talk quietly or be silent yourself and it won't look awkward. On top of it, aquariums often have a restaurant or two near-by and fun gift shops. You can buy your date a tiny plastic seahorse and get her some ice cream. She will love you! There is only one way this date can go wrong: if the is an animal rights activist or vegan, she will refuse to go into the aquarium and will most probably call you insensitive. For these ladies, try out an animal rescue.

The beach

Go on a picnic on the beach. And even if the weather is bad, go for a walk. The view of the sea extending for miles and miles has a calming effect on people, so you are likely to forget your date-stress. You can talk about your childhood memories having to do with the beach or you can talk about traveling and dream destinations. Dreaming together brings people closer in no time. Just make sure you don't say anything too heavy like “I wish me, you and our four future children would go on a cruise next year”. He will be terrified. Keep it more abstract, no matter how big of a crush you are developing. After all, it is a first date!

So whether you date black women or you date blackmen, make sure to always remember that you are just people after all. Relax and enjoy your first date without thinking of the added challenges of interracial relationship just yet. There is time for it after the third date!